Whoever follows me on Mastodon knows that I regularly post about Italian farmhouses, Greek villa’s, visiting Thailand and moving to Sydney. It’s no secret that, despite living in the Netherlands for all my life, I’m eager to move elsewhere. The question is, where?
The beginnings #
I grew up in a small town about a 20 min drive from Amsterdam. It’s a town with a very distinct identity, where you grow up and just never leave. The expectations were that I would settle down with a second cousin, pop out babies and work part-time at a fish store. Unfortunately for my parents, I knew at an early age that this wasn’t for me. In between watching The OC, young me was addicted to NatGeo and travel shows. The world looked so uncomplicatingly beautiful, as it does for a teenager who hasn’t had to pay rent yet. I planned on doing a high school exchange in the US as soon as I turned 16. Upon return I would do volunteer work at the Moholoholo Big Cat Sanctuary in South Africa. I’d also be the first in my family to go to University. And I would travel the world, to the furthest places possible. I would see mountains, and oceans, and cities and cultures. And I would not get stuck in this small town and live a small life. Not me! I would build my own home, far far away, with blackjack and hookers. And chickens.
Okay, and now? #
Well, I did leave. I’ve lived in Amsterdam longer than I did in that town. I moved to the US for a high school exchange when I was 16 - I ended up living with mormons in Idaho instead of California, but hey it was an experience! I went to Uni for 2 masters degrees and I visited Moholoholo in South Africa years later, even though it was closed. I saw big cats, elephants, turtles, giraffes and other animals in the wild. I’ve walked through rice paddy fields, hiked mountains, I’ve spoken to people from the all over the world, hitch hiked from Amsterdam to Finland, couch surfed Morocco, drove all over New Zealand, and pet cats in Taiwan. And I’ve lived in Cape Town, Madrid, Sydney, Malaga, Bangkok, Chiang Mai, and Valencia each for at least a month at a time. I even got my passport stamped at the worlds most remote passport office; One Foot Island on Aitutaki, the Cook Islands. Many of my dreams came true, which is an enormous privilege. But I haven’t found home yet.
You know, wherever you go.. #
..there you are. I know! The problem is, I’ve seen the sun set in the most beautiful places, but after a while I always start to yearn for home. I’ll go back to Amsterdam, mostly out of convenience, only to want to leave again within days. Alas, life and travel is expensive. And I’m good-ish at my job. I have a career that I keep on coming back to, especially now that I get to do really cool things. And I have two cats. So it’s easy to get stuck. But I’m 35 now, and I have to admit that I have reluctantly lived in the same 20km radius for most of my life. The question is; if it isn’t Amsterdam, then where?
Over the years I’ve realized that it’s not just the place, the weather or nature. It’s also purpose, and people. Greece is amazing, warm, and the people are lovely, but what am I going to do there? There aren’t any jobs. Same with Thailand and Italy. I’d have to start my own business or find a remote job. And even then, will I find my people? I’ve walked this earth as a sort of Goldilocks with a checklist, endlessly googling and visiting places, waiting for that ‘feeling.’ Unfortunately, the search doesn’t get easier with age. I am tired. I want to find my place. I want that farmhouse in nature somewhere sunny, where I can have chickens, cats, a dog, and goats, with community nearby, and maybe my own business. Preferably in a country with human rights. And at the same time, I miss my best friend Stefan, who just moved to Sydney. He is my family. If there were a job with a visa there, I would forget all about the farmhouse and jump on a plane tomorrow.
Finding home #
Obviously, I can’t accept just rusting in place here. At some point, I need to make a choice. My interim assignment with the OSPO should end at the beginning of 2026. Undoubtedly there will be another cool assignment, and I’d love to keep working in opensource advocacy, but it can’t be in The Hague again. I’ll start to actively look for roles in Europe and beyond. Sydney is high on the list, but honestly at this point even Brussels would be a welcome change. Until then, I’ll keep traveling and overthinking real estate listings in places I’ve never been. And yeah, I should probably focus more on good enough instead of perfect. Or maybe I just need to throw darts at a map. After 20 years of searching, I still don’t entirely know either. If you have suggestions, or a spare visa, my DMs are open.
This post might have been a bit more personal than usual, but sharing is caring. If you’d like to share your idea of home, have tips or advice for me, or if this post was relatable in any way, follow me on Mastodon.
Thanks for reading.